a tired 'heavy head girl'

I don't know why I've been feeling tired over the past few days. My nose was blocked, I had a headache  and I felt lack of energy when I woke up in the morning. I always feel my head is 'heavy' - maybe I should be called 'heavy head girl', not 'big head girl'! :p I felt particularly lack of energy since yesterday after my ACCA test. My lack of energy and motivation to study led me to sleep a lot during the day. Really didn't feel like studying, though I know I have to hold on till I finish next Thursday's exam. 

Flatmate still hasn't been back home. So I can enjoy the quiet for a while. 

Oh, I woke up at 4 a.m. to turn off my laptop and saw the blue sky already! 

Suddenly felt like going travelling... 

Lunch: spaghetti (from Sainsbury yesterday) & pork chop 

The spaghetti tasted ok but a bit too 'oily'.

Dinner: boiled rice with pork chop and mixed vegetables

Wanna finish the pork chop and the remaining vegetables

Koala 樹熊仔wants to study and take the exam for me! :p

Passed exam & blood level got back to normal!

The day started with me feeling so nervous about an ACCA exam. Though I had had an exam experience just one week ago, I couldn't help worrying about what it'd be like if I failed. I tried to be calm when the exam started. Like last week, I answered all those theory questions first but the theory questions seemed not as easy as I had expected. In the rest of the time, I focused on calculations, which I didn't like. :p It was scary when the timer stopped at 0:00:00 and the results came out - 79% pass! Oh! A bit better than I had expected. :) I met two of my Pakistani classmates who asked me how my exam was doing. I saw a few other male classmates (oh where were my female classmates?) as well. With only one more exam to do next Thursday, I felt so relaxed that I did a bit of shopping in the city centre - got shower gel, and some foodstuff. 

I was actually feeling quite tired as I hadn't got good sleep last night - felt worried about my ACCA exam and also the results of my blood test of yesterday. So soon after I had had my lunch, I had a nap. I then went to gym - actually was feeling lazy and still tired after the nap but thought I better do some exercise. Before I went to gym, I dropped by the GP clinic to find out if the results of the blood test were ready. The reception lady said the test results were 'normal' (is that why they didn't call to tell me?). I asked about iron tablets I had been taking; she then said she'd ask the GP to talk to me on the phone. Soon after I had got onto the no.3 shuttle bus for city centre, my GP called! (wah so efficient!) As usual, he didn't talk much to me; he just said the test results were 'normal' and my iron level increased to '66' (four months ago it was '9' only!) and so he asked me to stop taking iron tablets! Oh yeah, no more pills! What a relief! But I'm still a bit worried if my iron level is ok coz after all, my GP hasn't found out why my iron level was so low. I think I'll continue taking iron tablets occasionally and maybe some multivitamins, just in case... 

To celebrate my pass in the exam, I had an economical dinner tonight. We got some good bargains from Sainsbury! Just £1.40 could get us a quite good dinner... 

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Breakfast: I like having bread and peanut better, and oat porridge with blueberry these days

Lunch: egg fried rice (with ham & vegetables!)

The provisional results of my ACCA exam today!

Dinner: cheese & tomato pizza (for 60p), chicken breast (80p) & broccoli + courgette!

Dinner: chicken breast in sun dried tomato & olive sauce! 

The chicken breast was not dry and the sauce was quite yummy!

Dinner: cheese & tomato pizza

not oily, not dry, just right! 

Add oil to my ACCA revision from GBK burgers & fries

Did a blood test early this morning. Compared with previous blood tests, this one seemed easier and the nurse's 'technique' was quite ok. At least it wasn't like the one done by a practice doctor in early March when I went to A&E of Hope Hospital! That time a big spot of mark was left!

Be a good girl today - I did concentrate on my revision for tomorrow's acca exam. Only occasionally checked email and facebook :p. Then around 4:30 p.m. I went out for gym - I really needed a break from revision and some exercises (my body told me it was time!). Not sure if my room was so stuffy that it made me have headache (which made me feel a bit strange); anyway it was good to go out for some fresh air. After gym, I had burger dinner at GBK again with my lovely friend. It was the third day I had burgers for dinner (since Monday) and I still didn't feel tired of it! Oh yummy burgers and chunky fries!

An ex-colleague asked me today if I'd be interested to cover her placement in Sept or Oct for six months. To be honest, I feel ambivalent about it - on the one hand, I do need money to support my living; on the other hand, working for my ex-employer is not something I look forward to (if I have choice, it would be the last place I'd like to go back to!). But at least I've got an option now in terms of employment opportunities. Anyway, I'll have two months holiday during which I have to find some jobs. Let's see...

Fingers crossed for my exam tomorrow...

(P.S.: Someone said this blog seems to be a food diary!)

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Lunch: salmon with boiled rice

(Salmon was still good! I love to go to Bolton Market for fish!)

Dinner: elderflower + L&P Lemon & Paeroa

Dinner: to be honest, I hadn't heard of L&P before... 

Dinner: Avocado & Bacon

(all-time favourite!)

(The beef was a bit burnt; other than that, the whole burger was good!)

Dinner: BBQ Burger

(oh, I love the BBQ sauce!)

Dinner: my favourite chunky fries

(the best among other restaurants)

Dinner: a closer look at the burgers... 

(oh canon E1 is always good)

Gone crazy with my ACCA revision

Continued my ACCA exam revision. The more I revised for ACCA exam (by doing exercises), the more I found I'm a kind of 'theory' person rather than a maths person - I tend to get more answers right in those theory questions and I don't like to do calculation! That's why I prefer to be a linguist, rather than an accountant! Gonna be driven crazy by those calculations. Not sure if they made me have headache today. Stomach was in a bit of pain, plus the backpain :(  Looks like I better go to gym tmr to stretch my hands and feet...

Flatmate didn't come home last night (finally she came back home tonight!). I wonder if she was upset by me confronting with her last weekend about her boyfriend's visit, or if she's just trying to be considerate by staying in her boyfriend's place instead. Maybe that's a weakness of people like me, who feels bad about confronting people and still tries to be nice to people who have hurt them. Anyway, in the afternoon, I decided to send an MSN message to my flatmate to tell her she got a letter from UKBA - I could have not bothered to tell her but I just thought the letter might be important to her, whatever she had done to me. Though we found out the letter was not very important (she asked me to open it for her), at least I didn't need to feel guilty for not telling her if the letter did matter to her.

My ex-colleague was informed by my ex-employer that she could get a quite big amount of 'redundancy' fee. She was happy and was thinking of where to travel later. I was happy for her too. At least she could let go of the whole thing finally and with some money she doesn't need to worry about her finance for a while. While it's a good move for her, I'm wondering if I should start thinking about myself - feel like I'm stuck at the moment, at least stuck at my acca course!

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Lunch: egg fried rice

Dinner: Burger again!!

revision + GBK day

Focused on revision for ACCA exam today. I was trying to memorize those technical terms and formulae. Not fun. I was almost driven crazy when I almost finished going through all the chapters of the study notes. But at least flatmate wasn't home for most of the time during the day and I could feel less stress. There was power cut in the late afternoon for more than an hour. I was worried if we'd have power back later. Fortunately it was not cold today - that reminded me of the days when I didn't have heating in my room during Christmas whilst I was living in a student hall in Salford.

I was supposed to have a blood test this morning at the GP clinic. But the clinic hadn't informed me the nurse responsible for my blood test was in today, till I waited more than half an hour at the reception area. I really want to know if the iron level of my blood has gone back to normal...

Had a good evening because I went to GBK with my lovely friend!! Yeah! And we got £5.95 burger + small fries vouchers! :)

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Lunch: macaroni with pork chop and vegetables

(seems I've never finished macaroni!)

Plus a yoghurt drink :)

Dinner: my favourite drinks - elderflower + ginger & lemon grass 

Dinner: avocado bacon burger

Dinner: Jamaican burger

Dinner: small fries

 Funny faces

Time to calm down...

Felt a bit better after a night's sleep. Not as upset as before, though the 'problem' still exists. Got a relaxing day. Did laundry. Talked to mum and a HK friend on long distance calls. Same as before, I didn't have much to tell mum. It was she who did most of the talking. She told me about her two-day trip to China and her appointment with a doctor. She's alone but fortunately she got a group of friends who she can hang out with. It's interesting that she asked me not to worry about her and not to think too much. 'Interesting' because I was supposed to be the one who says that to her. I had a good conversation with my 'tall girl' HK friend. She's another person who also thinks I was responsible for what has happened between me and my flatmate as I spoilt the latter too much. I wonder if my friends' views may have an impact on how I handle the problems with my flatmate - like, I may become over-reactive to or get upset easily with what my flatmate does. Actually my problems with flatmate and with my ex-employers are a bit similar - I expect they'll be nice to me in return but things do not always come our way and sometimes when we don't speak up, they may take us for granted or assume we're ok with everything they do... Anyway, another good lesson to learn!

I should learn how to calm myself down. Maybe it's time to go back to my Buddhism reading. Need to learn how not to get (too) upset whatever happens, which is part of why we live.

*****

Lunch: macaroni in tomato & potato soup with pork chop!!

Pork chop was yummy but a bit too thick

Dinner: boiled rice with salmon & courgette + broccoli

simple but yummy dish

I really like salmon! If I've got a chance to go to Bolton market again, I'll definitely try to buy them at a bargain price! :) 

frustration with flatmate

Insomnia last night. Couldn't fall into sleep for an hour after I went to bed. Too many things in my mind. Also the noise from flatmate's room wasn't helpful. They didn't turn on loud music but they just talked... So this morning I plucked up my courage to ask my flatmate about her boyfriend's stay. She denied that her boyfriend had been here for more than 3 nights. I don't think my memory was that bad. But there's nothing I can do when she denies. I just told her that I'd appreciate if they can be quiet - she said they just went to bed when her boyfriend came (implying they wouldn't make any noise!). I feel 老土 when I had to ask her like a parent how many times her boyfriend had come and asked them to keep quiet. I felt like I was a bad person (being inconsiderate) when I had to confront her like that, and when I had to be calculating, counting how many times her boyfriend has come in a week! I'm not sure if she's really that 'big shrimp head' (forgetting how many nights her boyfriend had been staying here). But if she's really mature and considerate enough, do I need to ask her things like that? *sighing*... I know friends will say it's my fault, that I've been spoiling her too much, that I didn't set rules at the beginning! :(

Maybe I've been too slow to find that's part of the culture of those from mainland China - not to discriminate them but I really don't appreciate their perceptions/values - like they can just let their friends access the flat that they share with other people without considering/respecting others' feelings..

I really don't want my relationship with my flatmate to end up in a bad way but...

******

Ok productive today. Did some revision on the ACCA F2 paper for next Thursday's exam. Went to gym. Had lunch & dinner with some friends. Did food shopping (not have a chance to be a 'professional shopper' today!)...

Lunch: vegetarian breakfast + fish & chips

Yummy Yummy!

Dinner: Fish with rice in sweetcorn soup base

Dinner: pork chop rice 

Dinner: rice noodles with shredded pork & preserved vegetables

Back to my quiet life - not live for others

After a few stressful days for yesterday's ACCA exam, I was a bit calm and relaxed. It happened flatmate wasn't home last night till tonight. Today was more about doing non-exam things - saw my gp, went to gym, cleaned kitchen & shower room, etc. But back pain & numbness still came back now and then. Headache started in the afternoon - probably because I stayed up a bit late last night and woke up early as usual.

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I think I should think seriously about studying Chinese medicine, after numerous frustrating visits to my useless GP over the past 5 months. I'm a kind of persons who'd like to sort things out asap, rather than being in the dark and getting things delayed (though quite often I tend to avoid facing the problems at the beginning!). So instead of guessing and even worrying about what the symptoms from my body signal, I decided to go and see my useless GP this morning. Same as before, his attitude was 'your problem is no big deal and you can just let it go away or take medicine.' I asked him about my stomach; he said 'I had told you that there was no cancerous thing in it' and my hiatus hernia wouldn't pose any big problem, as long as I follow his 'advice'! Any symptom? Take medicine. My back pain? 'It may be your nerve got trapped' Take medicine (paracetamol)! Feet problem? Get a sole! Feel like I'm an idiot when I see him and ask him those stupid questions. Sigh, no wonder a friend of mine told her it's only us who can save ourselves. And western medicine cannot cure a problem...

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Talked to an ex-colleague on MSN last night about his relationship with his girlfriend who had gone back to Malaysia. He said if they were meant to be, then their relationship can survive in the challenge (of long distance), but she was expecting something improbable (like they got married, or he moved to Malay). He also said she was living her life for others (parents) and advised me not to give up and live for others but fight when I can. He's right. I have to make efforts and 'fight' for what I want. But that's really a big challenge. 

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My foodstock seems to have gone quickly (hmm, I still keep eating and eating these days!). Gonna do my shopping and continue 'training' on professional shopper under someone's 'supervision' tomorrow! :) And also gonna have dinner with some friends tomorrow evening - sometimes it's not easy to keep a balance between socializing/entertaining friends and having my own special quality time. 

*****

Lunch: macaroni in tomato soup with last night's left over (tofu with chicken) & broccoli

Seems my meals were a bit boring these days! 

Dinner: cheese burger with baked beans & broccoli

I passed the first ACCA exam!

What a morning! I got up early this morning to do a bit more revision - to be honest, there wasn't much time and all I did was just revise/memorize some of the concepts/terms. Not sure if it's because I hadn't had exams for so long that I felt very nervous. Also worried and stressed about whether I'd pass the exam. I thought I'd meet my classmates but it turned out that in that computer classroom (where there were around 30 computers) I only saw one of my classmates. Some students were taking CIMA. At the beginning, I was very worried because I found the questions quite difficult. There were more questions asking for numerical entries (instead of multiple choices) than I had expected and those questions were the ones that I left to answer at the end. I was more confident in theoretical questions. Perhaps because I'm a theory person! :P I didn't get used to the computer-based examination format; I had to make a guess for the answers to some of the questions. So time was up, I didn't expect I'd pass the exam but I did - it was 68% pass!! I couldn't believe it then. When I left the classroom, that classmate of mine asked if I had passed the exam. She failed and she went to the reception to fill in a form for a resit. She said today was the second time she took the exam...

It was such a big relief to pass today's exam. Two more to go. Next Thursday one is not easy either. But at least I've got one less exam to worry.

So having passed today's exam, I relaxed myself a bit - had a nap in the afternoon (slept only 6 hours last night and had headache today), surfed the internet; and wanted to celebrate it with someone. Also my back pain and strange sensation in both of my feet (need to see my useless GP tomorrow to find the cause and solution!) didn't motivate me to start revising for next Thursday's exam, but I do remember someone's advice. So I guess I have to work hard again!

P.S.: Finally my flatmate has worked out the bills for the past 6 months, after I had left a note to her door last night. Was wondering if I had been spoiling her too much, and if I should be a bit 'tough' to her?

*****

My provisional result notification!

Lunch: the third time to have salmon within a week.. 

Dinner: chicken with tofu, mushroom and broccoli!

What a challenge - Last minute revision for ACCA exam

Very stressed. Tried to do my 'last minute' revision for my ACCA F3 exam tomorrow. Still lots to remember and to practise. My frequent upper right back pain and numbness didn't help, nor did the presence of my flatmate and her boyfriend in the flat (someone said her boyfriend would be here for two nights only but same as before, her words don't count). I hadn't been to gym since last Friday and to help me relax a bit and get away from the exam stress, I decided to go to gym in the afternoon. Exercise did make me feel a bit better, especially when I sweat. Was thinking of treating myself a GBK dinner tonight with two vouchers ready. But ex-colleagues called to have dinner together. So we ended up going to McDonalds for a low-cost dinner. McDonalds burger and chips were nice too. But I wasn't in a mood. Talked to an ex-colleague before about my ACCA exam stress but was told I should have started the preparation earlier - I know it was my 'fault' that I hadn't revised earlier but at that moment all I wanted was just some kind of encouragement and so my 'defence wall' was up at that moment... Anyway, I hate myself for losing my temper and being 'immature' again. :(  I made tonight's dinner short and not fun...

*****

Lunch: macaroni with tofu & chicken in tomato soup

(not feel like cooking today!)

Dinner: Big Mac & Fries at McDonalds

Being under stress by ACCA exams!?

Today was the last class of this semester for my ACCA. I did attend the morning session but went back home after that. I don't think I could concentrate in the class anyway, when my mind was filled with those terms for another paper for which I was going to have exam this Thursday. But I couldn't help having a nap around 4 p.m.. :p I started feeling stressed with the ACCA exams.

Not sure if my healthy problems have anything to do with the stress? I have been having pain/numbness in my upper right back for the past two months and today I kept feeling the pain. :(  Plus a bit of tummy pain and my 'auntie' visit. I just had a chat with one of my ex-colleagues who has also been under stress becoz of her unhappy relationship with my ex-employer. We both feel that we have been having problems (she's struggling with hay fever) one after another...

*****

Lunch: strange combination - cheese burger with tofu & broccoli!

Dinner: chicken legs that have been baked for almost an hour!

Dinner: boiled rice with broccoli & chicken leg 

(Hmm, a failed attempt for chicken leg; it didn't taste good!)

Revision time - being focused

I have to say I'm not a good ACCA student. Since I've started the course, I haven't worked hard on revision or assignments. I guess lack of interest in the subject is the main reason for my lack of motivation to work hard on it. But now as exams are coming, I really have to work hard and do my best in the exams, if I do want to carry on with the course... The first exam (F3) will take place this Thursday, but I still had classes today and tomorrow. I decided to skip the morning session and stay at home to do some revision for F3. I did concentrate on my revision (oh, I hadn't been so focused on something for long!). I attended the afternoon session of the class (for F2) but since I hadn't done any revision on F2, I found it difficult to follow what the tutor said or taught. Tomorrow the class will finish for this semester but I doubt if I'd want to attend the class the whole day.. I can't wait to have my summer holiday after that!

Flatmate has come back home this evening, having 'disappeared' since last Friday after she had left her male friend alone in her room. I really would like to talk to her about the fact that she left the key to our flat to her friend, who's a stranger to me, and let him stay in our flat for the weekend. I really don't think it's 'appropriate' to let other people to have access to our flat. But at the end, I still didn't have courage to speak up to her about it. I'm not assertive. :(  I've been wondering: am I too nice to her, or am I being too picky or stubborn (or is it just a difference in our views on things like that)? Hopefully such thing won't happen again before she moves out. I have been feeling stressed over the past half year about the way she handles things.. I've finally confirmed with the potential new flatmate that she'll move in at the end of July. Hopefully the experience of living with another person will be better, after I have learnt a lot from sharing the flat with my current flatmate...

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Lunch: macaroni in tomato soup with meatballs and broccoli

Snack: sweet almonds from Morrisons 

I found this heart-shaped one! :)

Dinner: boiled rice with steamed salmon & broccoli & asparagus

(I love salmon! But probably won't eat salmon again in the next few days :P)

Enjoyable weekend.. forgot about worries for the moment

I had an enjoyable weekend with friends (thanks!!) and could forget my worries/problems/stress for the moment...

Yesterday was a shopping day of the week - a trip to Bolton. I like shopping in Bolton rather than Manchester city centre because there seems to be less people (well, actually the Bolton town centre was also crowded on Saturdays!) and I have more choices for bargain shopping! Also the chance of bumping into the people I know is lower, as I'm still struggling with my anti-social period.. :p

First we had lunch at Morrisons. I got 'roast chicken phobia' since these days I had had too much of roast chicken and roast chicken has become the suspect of my tummy pain a couple of days ago. We ordered roast beef and fish & chips. Both were nice, though as filling as roast chicken! :p Having gained enough energy, we started our bargain/last minute shopping!

Oh, being a good housewife who knows how to spend money on foodstuff wisely is not easy! It's quite stressful indeed. When we were in Bolton Market, we could hear a lot of those stall people shouting out '2 for fiver', '1 pound chicken'. I had to make a quick decision or I'd miss those good bargains - I did get three big salmons for £5 but if I had made the decision earlier, I could have got 5 salmons! Anyway, good experience! :) I'm progressing towards being a professional shopper! And that evening we had one of the bargain salmon for dinner.

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Today I had a gals gathering with two of my ex-colleagues. We had a quick lunch at Manchester Arndale Market. Then we headed for something interesting - we visited a sex shop! :p To be honest, it was the first time I went to that kind of shops and I'd never go to those shops on my own. I guess the traditional Chinese culture makes me feel embarrassed/taboo about discussing sex but in fact we shouldn't feel shamed or embarrassed about sex as it's a natural thing! Anyway, it was an interesting, eye-opening experience. I should keep myself updated and gain more knowledge about those things!

A bit lazy today and so didn't spend much time doing cooking. Not sure if it's stomach or chest where I have been feeling pain this weekend. Anyway, I should start focusing on my ACCA revision after this weekend...

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Saturday's lunch at Morrisons: Roast beef + fish & chips

Saturday home-made dinner: yummy salmon + fried eggs with asparagus + fish soup

Sunday lunch at Arndale Market: chicken panini (Halal) shared with my friend

& hot chocolate

Sunday dinner (being lazy): 

cheese burger + sausage rolls + broccoli